Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Empty Words

So, I am going to share my heart again. The past few months have probally been the hardest weeks and days of my entire life. You see, in May I lost my job at a facility I had faithfully served for the last 20 years. So my life changed in a big way. First I lost a job that I thought I would retire from one day. Never at this age I could have imagined I would be where I was, "starting OVER." The next was that I felt like I lost my family. I literally went through a mourning period. You see I spent more time with these women than with my own family. Days of silence went by and by without a phone call or a letter of encouragement. There were a couple of nurses who sent me a message occasionaly on FB but I was still so lonely. I threw myself into a PRN job working full-time hours but it wasn't the same at all. Yes the same type of job but not the same. It didn't feel like home. So I have put on a good front and just dealt with it. I smile in the public but cry eyes out on a daily basis at home. My poor husband listens to me and consoles me. He is the absolutely the best. So over the last few weeks I have come in contact with some of my co-workers from the past. Each say the same words to me. First," how have you been?" I really want to say :"How do you think I"ve been?" But I don't. I say "I m doing just fine." Then the words that cut to my soul so deep I cry when I walk away are "I meant to call you." Empty words that do not mean anything at all. If there is one thing that God has taught me through all of this is to be sincere. Just don't say something because it is what should say but say something that has meaning. If you tell someone you are going to pray for them then PRAY FOR THEM! Don't tell someone you know how they feel if you really don't know how they feel. Sometimes all that needs to be said it nothing at all. I am sorry for all the times I've said EMPTY WORDS to anyone.

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