Henry

I woke up this morning early because my cell phone did not automatically fall back. So I decided to take advantage of the time and go for a 3 mile walk. Usually, I walk by myself but my new puppy who is not so small set at the edge of the drive waiting for me to ask him to come along. I called "come on Henry and he came running with delight." He had never been down this road and was curious to all the new smells and sights. He would stop and smell all kinds of things including things I would have prefered him not to smell. He would see me keep on walking and quickly he would run to catch up. He never let me get to far from his sight. If he lagged behind to far I would call and he would quickly come running. He was so funny to watch because it seemed as if he was privileged to be with me. He walked very proudly next to me at times. We as chrsitians are privileged to have God invite us to walk with him on a daily basis. We get sidetracked by the things that satan dangles in front of us but God always calls us the get back on the track. My goal this week is to keep my on God and not let him get to far ahead of me where I would be so lost.

The Eyes Have It

I always find it funny how peoples expressions on their face do not match up with what they are saying. For example today I had to have a EGD(upper scope on my throat). So I was told to be there at 6 am sharp. As a good patient I arrived in a timely manner. Of course there were four other 6 am scheduled patients also. The receptionist seemed to be a friendly type of person. So, about 6:30 am they called me to the back. You could tell they had a certain way of handling things in this office. First your vitals were taken then you got your bed assignment so they could start your IV for the procedure. I was the last of the 6am people to have my IV started so I was able to watch each and every one of them go to the procedure room and comeback for recovery. It almost reminded me of a Disney ride. How they moved everyone like and assembly line. You started in your curtain area then as one of the pt had been in the procedure room for about 5 minutes they came and moved the next on to the middle of the room. That way when the anesthetist brought the first from the procedure room to recovery the other nurse could quickly grab the stretcher. So now it was my turn to be placed close to the procedure room. Since I now have had and IV dripping for about and hour and half I had to go to the bathroom. I would ask my transporter if I could use the facilities. She ROLLED her eyes and said "sure sweetie." So what did that say to me. Not really stupid "you should have gone before." I am sure I am guilty of this myself sometimes:whether I am responding to a patient or even a family member. Sometimes when the shoe is put on the other foot it makes you think.

When it is My Time

Today I said goodbye to T.C. Calmes today. He was a great man and that was reiterated over and over today at the funeral. What a great life! So again all of this made me think. Of course it did. I have a young friend named Taylor and when she was in high school she had to write her own eulogy and plan her own funeral. What a task for such a young person. None of us want to think about our own death so that is why we fly through life not thinking about the consequences of our actions. Before we know it the years between 0 an 85 have flown by . Either we embrace what we accomplished in such a short time or we hang our heads in despair. So I have been thinking about what people would say about me. My husband would probably say I was an OK wife. I worked hard and took good care of my family. He would also say I really got on his nerves when I moved his stuff. My daughters would say that I loved them with all my heart and they couldn't live without me because, I did everything for them. My family would say I stayed away to long and that they missed me. My co-workers would say I was very hard working. My church family would say I sang good. But really all of this does not add up to what I want it add up too. I want everyone to say I meant something on this earth and that my life was not a waste. God gave me my life for a reason and I don't want to waste it. Maybe all of us should step back and take a look at our life and think about what we want people to say about us on that day.

Goodbye

Goodby My

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Empty Words

So, I am going to share my heart again. The past few months have probally been the hardest weeks and days of my entire life. You see, in May I lost my job at a facility I had faithfully served for the last 20 years. So my life changed in a big way. First I lost a job that I thought I would retire from one day. Never at this age I could have imagined I would be where I was, "starting OVER." The next was that I felt like I lost my family. I literally went through a mourning period. You see I spent more time with these women than with my own family. Days of silence went by and by without a phone call or a letter of encouragement. There were a couple of nurses who sent me a message occasionaly on FB but I was still so lonely. I threw myself into a PRN job working full-time hours but it wasn't the same at all. Yes the same type of job but not the same. It didn't feel like home. So I have put on a good front and just dealt with it. I smile in the public but cry eyes out on a daily basis at home. My poor husband listens to me and consoles me. He is the absolutely the best. So over the last few weeks I have come in contact with some of my co-workers from the past. Each say the same words to me. First," how have you been?" I really want to say :"How do you think I"ve been?" But I don't. I say "I m doing just fine." Then the words that cut to my soul so deep I cry when I walk away are "I meant to call you." Empty words that do not mean anything at all. If there is one thing that God has taught me through all of this is to be sincere. Just don't say something because it is what should say but say something that has meaning. If you tell someone you are going to pray for them then PRAY FOR THEM! Don't tell someone you know how they feel if you really don't know how they feel. Sometimes all that needs to be said it nothing at all. I am sorry for all the times I've said EMPTY WORDS to anyone.

So Sweet

I am writing this blog in the color pink because who I am writing about is the sweetest little thing in the world. Today the Reitz family got together for lunch. A good time to touch base and celebrated any birthday that is remotely close. As we do for every holiday. One of my favorite little people was there: Jayden(my niece). As soon as she saw me she came and sat in my lap and gave me the biggest hugs ever She sat there for the longest telling me all about her teacher and what she was learning. She talked about everything. As she talked to me she played with my hair and loved on me. It reminded me of my girls when they were little. How when they got in the car they just talked and talked. Often they would crawl in my lap and tell me about their whole day. Now I have to beg them to talk to me. A friend I worked with told me when her daughter was in high school she would make sure she was home when her daughter got home from school because she was not quite sure if it would be a day she would come in and talk to her or bounce right up the stairs like she was never there. She told me didn't want to miss that chance to talk to her. She said the latter was true more often. I didn't quite understand till my girls reach that sweet age. As my girls grow I find myself waiting to talk to them. So when I do talk to them I cherish the moments; though our conversations are very adult like and not so innocent as the talks with them as a child. I wonder if God longs to talk to us. Some days I get up and go about my business and not even give him a second thought about him. His heart must ache to the point where it hurts him so. I'm sure he would love for us to come to him as innocent as a child and just talk to him. He would love for us to crawl up in his lap and love on him everyday.

A thousand Fleas!

This past Friday morning I woke up to the sound of a puppy's cries.. A sound we have all heard in our life time. You see I live in the middle of nowhere, our neighbors are close but not so close and we don't have puppies. So where did that sound come from. Tim started the search and found a little one in our bushes. Filthy, stinky, cold and hungry. First words out of Tim's mouth. "Hes not staying." " Sure dear" was my reply. When Tim went to town for a quick errand I fed little bit something and then I bathed him. I'm a softy when it comes to animals. As I washed him I noticed he was covered in fleas. To the point where he would twitch as they bit him. He was restless and irritable. I didn't even notice he had white spots on him until the fleas came pouring off of him. I cant remember a time I have seen a animal have so many fleas per square inch of his body. The more I bathed him and the more the fleas came off the more he became relaxed. At one point he almost fell asleep in the water. After the bath he fell asleep relaxed as if he didn't have a care in the world. He slept so peaceful and sound. Well of course all of this made me think. I know, my mind is not right at all. So this is what I thought of or actually this is what God thought of. How many of us are covered and sin and it eats away at us all day everyday? We are irritable and testy all the time because we are not following Gods wishes. All we have to do is repent of our sin and God will give us the peace we need to live a relaxed life. Instead of hanging on to it and let it eat away at our soul we should turn it over to the One and Only! Let him have it and you can relax just like my puppy did. What a great feeling that would be.

STIKE ONE

Part of the reason I blog is to share part of my soul, my insecurities, my feelings and my mistakes. Anyone who knows me knows I am perfect. NOT!More mistakes than anything, like today. Well today I moved into my old home. A place I have been trying to move away from for a long time but I gradually return there on a regular basis. Anyone who goes to EBC knows exactly what I am referring to. So I will keep it at that. Today I was so excited for my girl Karlie. She was to play in her first volleyball game. She has worked so hard. This summer she was one of the two girls to go to camp and she attends every practice. She even sacrificed a dance class to attend practice. She has come home with all her muscles hurting and she never once complained. I am so proud of her. She made sure she had everything she needed for the game and had it all ready to take with her this morning. So as the game started she waited in anticipation of playing but unfortunately it didn't come. The game passed and she sat on the bench in the seasons first scrimmage. I was the one who was upset that she didn't play because I will not be able to see her play hardly at all because the game schedule did not come out until it was too late. My heart was crushed. So I told a friend I was really mad and upset. I was being selfish, it was all about me me me!!!! As I thought it over I called my friends and apologized to them for being upset. Of course both of them said it was OK and that they understand. God gives us opportunities to prove ourselves to him. Today I failed and so I am sure there will be another time right around the corner. Let see if I strike out again. Hopefully I will seize the opportunity and grow because that is why we are given these trials.

I'm a Senior!

I'm a senior. Theses are words I have heard quite frequently in the last few weeks and school just started two weeks ago. I can so remember being there myself. Wanting the freedom that comes with being a senior or still needing help with some things but not wanting to ask. So as the parent how do I deal with this? I have to learn when to help and when not too. I can remember there was a time I helped with a certain situation and she didn't talk to me for a long time. If I was a bird this job would have been done a long time ago, six weeks and one push out of the nest and you are done. Good luck says the mama bird or does she look over the edge of the nest and think Oops! I should have given him one more flying lesson. The mama bird has no regrets like human moms do. We over analyze our mistakes. We try to raise our children opposite of how we were raised. If we were spanked as a child we swear we wont spank ours, if we were handed hammy downs then our children will have the very best or if we came from divorced parents we promise to make our marriage work for the kids. We read and read to learn how to become better parents. Believe me I have read tons of those books which none has help one iota(is that how you spell that). The best advice I have gotten is from The Book. We all know what book that is. The Bible. First, God always loves his children unconditionally day in and day out. Second, when he punishes us he means it and doesn't back down.Last, he lets us make our mistakes because that is the only way we are going to grow as Christians. As a mom I have to remind myself to be more like God on a daily basis which is such a hard thing to do.

A Bucket of Worms!

Both of my girls are unique in their own way. Taylor is more the girly girl type. She enjoys the beauty of dance and dressing up on occasion. Now Karlie is the more outdoors type. She enjoys the beauty of nature. She has always been excited about everything outdoors, from hunting to fishing. One of the fondest memories is when Karlie was probably about 6 or 7 years older. One afternoon after school I decided to stop and pick up a bucket of worms for her because she adores fishing. When I got home and told her she had a surprise in the car she was elated. Quickly she said "what?" When I told her what it was she ran outside and grabbed her fishing pole and headed to the pond. How simple it was to entertain her. We have gotten so far away from the simple things in life. Instead of spending 50 dollars at the movie lets watch a movie at home. Sit down at the dinner table and play a game of cards. Life has gotten to busy . God wants us to slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures of life and develop real relationships with family and friends. So I think this weekend its time to go fishing.

The Perfect Peach

So I went to my favorite place in the world yesterday to buy a few things,at Walmart. This is really not my favorite place especially on a Saturday. I made one little mistake. I never may mistakes I am perfect:( So not true). The mistake was that I went hungry. Everyone know the rule to going to the grocery store. Never go hungry because you will buy the store out. Trying to be healthy I headed over to the produce section. There they were, a bin of peaches. They were so pretty, in color,smell and feel.. I decide I would buy just a few with some other fruit. I managed to buy just what was on my list and headed out the door. I still had one more task on my schedule to do but I was starving. So I decided to eat one of the perfect peaches. It was so sour. Maybe it was just the first bite but the second was just the same. I finished it but I was so disappointed. All this made me think how things look so perfect from the outside and are nasty on the inside. I am guilty of looking at things from the outside and compare myself to them.. I tell my self they have more money, their family is much better than mine or they are just plain better than me. I try to set a good example for my girls because I want them to know they are as good as anyone else in this world. I have learned in life that everyone has insecurities about their own life. That took me a long time to learn. The one true fact is that we as humans should only compare ourselves to the one and only Jesus Christ. Was he not the PERFECT ONE?

RED BEANS ON FRIDAY?

I have the most wonderful husband in the world. Especially when it come to helping around the house. We take turns cooking and cleaning depending on each others work schedule. This last week has been a crazy week. School started, it was crazy at work and I hit my head after a fall. So Tim was so nice and cooked a lot this week. You never know what he is going to come up with. One time he could something so hot that I had to have five glasses of water to help it go down.
He loves to experiment with food. This week was no exception. One day we had spaghetti with Tony's and on Friday he cooked red beans. When he called me Friday morning he was so proud of his self, "guess what we are having for dinner?" No what "red beans." My response was" red beans on Friday". He asked "why cant we have red beans on Friday?" Quickly I said" that is a Mondays dish". A few co-workers heard our conversation and agreed with me. This all opened up a huge conversation about why do we eat red beans on Monday. It became a tradition for New Orleans women to cook these on Monday because that was the day they did their house cleaning and red beans would cook on the stove all day. You really do not have to fool with them that much. Put them on low and let them go . So all this made me think. We get caught up in so many traditions and the way things are suppose to be we miss out on so much stuff. For example our church just went from two worship services to one service. A big adjustment for some. The traditional worshipers are having to adjust to praise songs and the contemporary worshipers are having to adjust to hymns. For the most part it is going smoothly but there are a few members who have not. Each have gotten use to one way of worship and they are having a difficult time adjusting. What miss out when we harden out hearts to change? God likes change that is why life is so full of surprises. We do not grow when we become stagnant in our worship. As Christians he wants us to grow. So we need to be open to changes, weather it is a small change or a BIG CHANGE. You never know what God wants to show you. So yes I had red beans on Friday and they were good. Now I dont have to cook on Saturday because I have left overs.

I knew one day it would come but never this quickly. You see I have been blessed with the two greatest gifts ever. God blessed me with two beautiful daughters. The first is a fiesty, energetic, beautiful, smart and God loving girl. It seems just like yesterday when that little 5LB 10 oz preterm baby came in our lives. She came 5 weeks early and came out face first. Bruised and beat up she was determined to see where she was going. That is still her today, always looking for the next step ahead. She does not miss a beat. If you think you are going to surprise her you are definitely mistaken. As a matter of fact she dislikes surprises!! I always said she was my spirted child. When she belives in something there is no arguing with her. Her dad always tells her she was going to argue with Jesus when he comes back. So this little girl started her senior year today! Of course as a mom I am not ready for her to grow up all the way but I know it is a must. I am sure I will hear this statement more than once. "trust me mom I am a senior now." I did hear once today already: on the phone this morning. I want to protect her but I know I have to let her make her own decisions.

Now my second daughter keeps me laughing. She is the more laid back child. Karlie started life out that way too. Siitng in a breech position I had to have a c/s to go and get that 6lb and 8 oz. She is so full of life, loveable, friendly, caring, humorous, and flexable. From the get go she has always been the one to give of herself. From day one she had to go with the flow of the family because she is the baby. Karlies gentle spirit makes people love her even though she can talk you head off. She is little bit clumbsy but she gets that trait honestly.

So one graduates high school and the other eighth grade. As I watch them grow and worry about them I think how God must worry about us. He has given us life and done EVERYTHING for us and he has to let us make our own mistakes. He must have pain when we turn from him. What we do as patents on this earth is just a little taste of what he goes through on a daily basis Being a parent is probally the only way we as humans can understand unconditional love. That is why God allows us to have children. If we didnt we probablly would not understand it at all. I know I could not sacrifice my children for anyone else. Thank you God for your unconditional love.

Please Don't throw Me into the Brier Patch

I asked my oldest daughter if she would be so kind to help me create a blog spot and her comment was if "you don't know how then you don't deserve one" but my kind dear younger daughter quickly jumped to my aid. Both of them are the best girls ever. I am so proud of them! REALLY. For many years I have written my thoughts and ideas in a journal but I can type much faster. I know this is not making much sense because what I have said so far is nothing relating to the title.

I do get ideas from the strangest things that occur in my life. For example the other day I decided to remove the briers from my flower beds. A task that is n0t taken lightly. First I had to find my gloves. Of course the ones I found were not the right ones, the first brier I grabbed went right through the glove. So I had to find the right ones to protect my hands. So now I was ready for the challenge. So I started to pull them out. Some of them were so grounded, I had to grab them from the bottom and pull from the root. If not they would certainly grow back. Some of them would grab me back and wrap around me, leaving nasty little thorns in me. So all of this made me start to think. This entire world is just on BIG BRIER PATCH. It is filled with little thorns that get to you and stay if you let them. You have to eventually remove them or they will fester until you cant stand it anymore. They become your entire focus. You cant concentrate on anything else except that thorn. The only way to protect yourself on the thorns of life is to protect yourself. Just like putting on the gloves as you dig into the Brier patch you have to put the word of God in your heart to protect yourself from the thorns of life.